Dear Diary,: From Working Mom to SAHM: A Chapter I Never Expected

My last day as a government servant was back in December 2018.

Since then, my life has taken quite a turn. From juggling meetings and deadlines as a working mom, I found myself stepping into a role I never imagined for myself—a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Honestly, it wasn’t something I ever thought about, let alone planned or dreamed of. Maybe for some women, especially after getting married, becoming a SAHM is part of the goal. But for me? Not at all.

Being a SAHM was never in my vocabulary. I couldn’t even picture it. Indeed, life isn’t always what one likes (Roman Holiday).

If I’m being real—I was never a great cook. Before marriage, I didn’t even step foot in the kitchen unless it was to make a cup of coffee. I only started cooking after I got married, and even then, it was mostly simple meals done occasionally. But once I became a full-time SAHM, a lot had to change. We had to manage our finances more carefully, which meant cooking at home became a necessity.

Slowly but surely, I adapted. I even baked for my kids’ birthdays—something I never imagined myself doing. But there I was, rolling dough, decorating cakes and creating moments that made their eyes light up. Over time, I found joy in it. I even started selling pastries and Mac & Cheese on a small scale—just to test the waters and explore new possibilities.

I genuinely enjoyed my time as a SAHM. Being there for my children, handling their routines, teaching them, doing homework together and cooking meals for them—it was fulfilling in ways I never expected. It made me grateful.

But I won’t lie—I never stopped looking for work.

As much as I loved being home with my kids, a part of me longed to return to the working world. I missed the rush of being in a professional setting, the mental stimulation, the feeling of productivity that came from using my skills beyond the home. That’s the only time I truly feel like my brain is functioning at full capacity.

I want to be more—for myself and for my daughters. I want to be a role model they can look up to. I want to show them what it means to chase goals, to provide for the family and to stand on your own two feet.

So I kept applying. For five years, I sent out resumes, went through interviews, faced rejections—and even experienced the heartbreak of receiving job offers only to have them fall through due to unforeseen circumstances.

Eventually, I gave up. I told myself maybe this is it. Maybe Allah wants me to focus on being the best mother and wife I can be. Maybe this chapter—unexpected as it is—is where I'm meant to serve wholeheartedly.

And maybe, just maybe, that's not a loss, but a quiet kind of purpose.

*****