Left Unsaid

It's one of those days, I'm so good in express my feelings. Damn loud. Just say watever I want regardless wat people might feel. It was like, "If you don't like my words, don't listen. If you don't like my appearance, don't look and if you don't like my actions, just f**king turn your head la." You know dat kind of attitude. =_="

But now? Seriously I dunno wat happen to me. Like seriously, WAT THE HELL IS HAPPEN TO ME NOW? WHY I CAN'T EXPRESS MY FEELINGS? WHY I CAN'T JUST SAY 'NO!!!!'? WHY I CAN'T TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM? 

Okay. Wait. Correct me if am wrong. Did I juz said "Why I can't tell him that I LOVE him?" lolol LOVE?? For real, LOVE??? u gotta b kidding me man! pffffffft.

Great. Now am talking about LOVE. Wat's next? 

Dude, I've been in a wrong relationship for so long. (Note: Wrong relationship - you will feel more alone than when you were single) It was my biggest mistake that I have made. To let him stay in my life longer than he deserved to. I can't believe I could be goofy for 6 years. 6 YEARS!! lol stupido me! 

But on the other hand, that's how you will understand life aite? Some people & something are put in your life temporarily just to get you on the next lesson. Nothing is meant to last forever. So, we may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason, but one thing for sure is mistake helps us to find the right person. kan kan kan? :p

I am what I am today because of the decision and choice I've made yesterday. I believe that being in a relationship is a full-time job. So, I won't apply if I'm not ready. I don't mind to wait though it may takes a month, year or even decade. Cos the longer you have to wait, the more you will appreciate when it finally arrives. Right? So, basically that's my theory. tehehee~ :DD

So, here's the thing. After a year (plus) being single am actually forgot how to love and how does it feels to be loved. Yes, no joke. I F-O-R-G-O-T. =.=

Mode (ON) : JUST-HAVING-FUN
Mode (OFF) : "commitment"

Why I choose to "Just-having-fun"? Cos being with no one is better than being with the wrong one. Sometimes those who fly solo have the strongest wings. *wink*

However, all this love thingy shit just happened. And I HATE IT!

Guess wat? I'm fucking enjoy my single life and wanted to have some fun yet this shit called 'LOVE' just come cross. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!

I didn't realized that am in love. You hear me? I'M IN LOVE!! But it juz too little too late to admit. I didn't realized it before. I didn't realized when he was around. I only realize it when he's gone! 

Yet, I got so many things to tell. I wanted him to know how much I care for him. How much I appreciate him. How much I love him. How much I want him. But now, everything left UNSAID. 

At first, I've decided to tell the whole world my feelings since I'm no good in expressing my feelings personally. Lidah nie bole pulak jam ble nk ckp hal sayang menyayang nie cos da lme x practice. So, I think it will be better if I just write it up. But as I mentioned before, it just too little too late.  

So, I've decided to leave it this way. Left Unsaid. 

Dat's d best I could do. perhaps.